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do you think these things are true or he is telling me to make me jealous?
Well we have been in a â śrelationshipâ ť for about 9 months. I am going through a separation with someone I was with for a long time so I am unable to commit completely, but we talk everyday, hang pretty often and have told each other we love each other.
This past Friday after hanging out we talked for 80 minutes and discussed that we are in love with each other but he did often ask what I am going to do about it, almost pressuring me to commit, but in a round about way. About 2 weeks ago I got upset at him because we were together and he answered a call from a girl he has dated in the past and is now friends with it wasnâ ™t that he was talking to her that upset me, but they way he was talking to her, all flirty and this was right in front of me, I felt very disrespected.
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He did apologize over and over but said that he didnâ ™t think we were that committed to each other since I have other things going on and havenâ ™t fully allowed myself to be 100% with just him.
But then said to tell him however I want things to be or whatever rules I want him to followâ ¦.which I didnâ ™t because I donâ ™t feel I should make rules for him, it should just be a mutual respect. I asked him to tell me what he wanted or rules, he said he wanted me to call him everyday.
Anyhow, all of this to say that yesterday we spoke and I told him I had plans to go to a friends house on Saturday for a party. After that he said oh yea a guy I met in class asked me to go out with him, his girlfriend and one of her friends Saturday â ¦ ok kind of weird but I tried to stay neutral. Then today we talked on the phone for a bit and he says oh last night after I worked out I was going to go home and relax but I was feeling down so I went out and oh man I was out till 3AM and I donâ ™t normally drink Tequila but the girls were making me. I said oh where did you go, he told me and then said well I went with my friend Dan but then my friend Pattie (of which I have been jealous of before) showed upâ ¦.it was great.
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He probably does like you but I think hes a little too Hey answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atcn9szdYPuFlqxIklykMvnsy6IX;_ylv=3?
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Do you think these things are true or is he saying them to hurt me? I donâ ™t want to be a jealous person but I mean if I mention going out with a guy or a guy and me talking he freaks but then he tells me things like this and I am not supposed to be bothered? I donâ ™t get itâ ¦.so can anyone shed some light here?
I think he is playing games... He is not being respectful of your feelings at all. You definetly don't tell someone that you went out with a bunch of the opposite sex and then pretend that it's going to be okay with the person you are trying to make a committment to. He's for sure trying to make you jealous. If he has true feelings for you then he wouldn't play the games, he would be showing you his committment. It sounds like he's going on dates to me, but that is my opinion. You also need to voice your concern and let him know that it's not okay with you for him to do this if it bothers you.
If i understood the story correctly he does seem to be trying to hurt you intentionally only because it seems you hurt him unintentionally. Because you never fully gave yourself to him that must have hurt him more then you could have foreseen. You were just trying to get over your last relationship. So it seems he is almost holding that anger still and trying to make you jealous because for the whole first part of your relationship he was jealous of your ex. So its pay back in a sense. I think that seeing as you guys have had meaningful conversations in the past you should have another. Maybe try and clarify where you guys stand. Exclusive and totally committed. Maybe he is confused if you are and maybe that is why he is acting this way.
Good luck though!
I think he is behaving and saying the same things that you are. He does not have a clear definition of what your relationship is. "if I mention going out with a guy or a guy and me talking he freaks" That actually confused me. I can not tell if you are dating exclusively him and he you, or if you are telling him you love him yet dating others and want him to do the same? That is why he is asking you the rules. You really need to define this relationship. Does mutual respect mean you both date others and discuss it or date but don't talk about it (you said you do) or not date?
You would simplify the whole thing by deciding what you want in your relationship and telling him. I wish you serenity
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