Please help me I need someone to help me through this! ? - Counseling Services for Foreign Medical School - hzgn.com

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my mom has a bad drinkin prob and my dad is fed up with it. he says he wants to sleep down stairs from now on and that he will leave her if she doesnt change. but the thing is my mom wants him to quit drinking with her but he doesnt want to b/c he doesnt have a prob. she says she wont go to rehab. i dont know what to do! im only 15 nd so my dads at work or goes somewhere my bro (16) just drives off to a friends house and stays there leaving her with me and i cant take it ne more i dont want my parents to get a divorce! what can i say to her? another things is that she wuld end up moving to our cottage that she inhareted from her mom and my dad wuld stay here to take care of the cattle so that means mom is goin to try to take our dog wich really loves her but she wont be happy b/c shes an indoor outdoor dog who runs all over the place outside so im worried she can get hurt b/c shes 12-13 years old ='[

I am sorry to say I don't have an answer on how to stop your mother from drinking. I also grew up with a mother who was a heavy drinker. My father never drank and it was always a tense time when he came home and found her drunk. I and my sister hiding in our rooms to avoid her when she was like that. My parents ended up staying together until my mother passed away. We survived our child hood and moved on to be non drinking adults. I know it is rough now but you need to remember this is your parents problem not yours and someday you will move out and grow up and things wont be so rough.....

You need to realize you have NO control over this or the outcome.

That's the first thing you really need to do to help yourself.
Lets the chips fall as they may.
Hate to say it but that is an old dog and her time is limited regardless, so not much point in stressing about that either.

Hang in there, years from now you will look back and realize you had no reason to obsess about it.

As others will surely say, you cannot control anyone but yourself. They are adults and make their own decisions, for the good or bad of the entire family.

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Don't feel guilty. Don't feel like you are the one responsible for saving them. Don't let their bad relationship and bad habits ruin your life.

You can continue to try to be a good daughter and not add to the stress at home. You can seek out a school counselor or trusted adult if you want someone to talk with. You can encourage your mom, tell your dad to be patient, but you must watch out for your emotional well being through this whole ordeal, come what may. You can learn from this situation and make some decisions about the kind of person that you are going to be. You need to understand that even if your mom goes into rehab, recovery is a very long and frustrating process.

If you need to talk, e-mail me or someone you know. Unfortunately, you are not the first person in this kind of situation. Sadly, it happens all the time. You will make it through this.

Here is a link that may help. It is a free 12 step program to help addicts. Not that your mom will voluntarily do it, but it will give you an idea of what has to occur for her to overcome this.
http://www.providentliving.org/familyser...

Good luck!