she needs. Thank goodness we can afford a live-in aide to keep her company and tend to her if and when i am not home. We have known this woman (her aide) for over 8 years, but gramma has taking it as a duty to accuse her of stealing her stuff. Underwear, shampoo, even old pictures.
My concern is that in the end, nothing is missing. We always find what she says was stolen, and both her doctor and geriatrician agree she is not senile or suffers from alzheirmer's.
This is turning into a nightmare, we both work, so we cannot leave her alone (she eats 5 meals a day, ya, i know) and a retirement home is out of the question. If her aide leaves, it's going to be a huge problem for us, but she insists she steals from her.
Do At-Home Dads Help or Hurt Work-Life Balance? - On Balance::
talent, effort and persistance have anything to do with achievemnet please. give her that choice and overjoyed that she chose to stay at home with our son.
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IS this normal behavior among elderly people?
Who knows what's going on for sure but for whatever reason, your granny doesn't trust her, supposedly. It could be that your granny really does have the beginning of dementia. That was one of the first signs with my mother, she thought everybody was stealing from her and it has only gotten worse. It could be that the aide is stealing from her and puts it back when noticed. It's also very possible that your granny just doesn't want an aide. At least one that is not a family member.
Wow, you are realy in a tight spot.
God bless you for taking her in.
Have you looked into day care programs? There are facilities in many areas that have programs for the elderly during the day.
Some will pick the patient/client up in the AM and then transport them to a facility. At the facility they have healthcare professionals who provide everything from medication administration to meals to group activities and crafts.
They can provide special diets, monitor activity, asses needs and make reccomendations to family and have access to the clients physician as needed.
Alumni Sandstorm Archive ~ Jan, 2003::
If I can help with this in some way please let me know! her husband would pull up in the parking lot at 4 and at 5, no matter what she
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Cheeky Sweetie::
of anything because you dont help me with anything but the actual bills She needs you to look in her mothers face and tell her you dont believe her,
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I am not sure how these "day care" facilities are funded, I believe insurance pays some of the costs.
It may be an option you could consider.
I believe you may be able to find more information by calling your local senior center.
Please consider that even though you have made sacrafices to accomidate an addition to your household, your grandmother may not be feeling very "grateful." At some level it would be natural for her to be having a very difficult time adjusting to the new arrangements.
She may even resent that you have assigned this stranger to her.
She may not realize why she cannot just continue in the way she had been before.
You don't discuss exactly why she needed to come live in your home.
If she has no memory dificeits, and is mentally "with it" except for her suspiscion of strangers why does she need to live with you?
Is she blind or unable to use the restroom independently, can she dress & feed herself? ( I am not talking about cooking on a hot stove, can she hold a sandwich and take a bite out of it?)
Where was she before she lived with you? Why couldn't she stay there?
What is the assistant doing for her that she cannot do for herself?
I am asking this because unless she cannot toilet herself or she is a danger to herself, as in may set the house on fire because she left the stove on you may be shoving more "care" on her than she requires.
The fact that you have known this assistant for a long time does not mean she is the right person for your grandmother. Since you say she does not have any mental problems except not liking and not trusting this person do you really think it is fair that you arbitrarily chose some one to literally be her life companion without her input.
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the my Great Granny Louisa Lyttle lived in 8 Wesley Street most of her life but My mom was in Lisburn 40 years ago visiting and has since lost touch
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Spirella Corsets in the 1960::
since oddly, it was pink and showed clearly through her shirt if she took her jacket off. not for the first time) to help my granny lace her corsets.
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How would you feel if that were done to you? Probably not very happy.
That being said, it is possible that your grandmother has a perception/thought disorder or some other mental illness that is demonstrated by behavior that seems paranoid to you.
This behavior is disruptive enough that it would be wise to have her evaluated by a mental health professional.
You don't mention that she is distrustful of everyone, just this person that has been " assigned" to her.
There are agencies that hire and bond these types of " companions" maybe she just needs a different person. I think you should at least consider someone else. And let her be included in interviewing and choosing her next companion.
I don't know if you have ever seen the cartoon of the boyscout trying to help the "little old lady" accross the street, when suddenly she starts hitting him with her umbrella and says " I didn't want to cross the street." Dispite the boyscouts good intentions he was giving help that was not needed or appreciated. This may not apply to your situation, but I don't think it is unreasonable for you to consider another person.
A lot of older people her age have dementia. I would take her to a geriatric doctor for a better diagnosis.
She will accuse anybody of stealing from her....including members of her family.
There really isn't anything you can do.....except to sympathize with her....and then ignore or accusations.
It's not normal behavior. However, that being said, perhaps there is something else that's bothering your granny that prompts her to make these accusations. Ask her if there is something bothering her or if she feels neglected in some way. It may be she wants a little more of your attention.
Have a heart to heart chat with granny. Tell her you love her and want to make sure she's OK while you're at work. The only way to do that is to have a live-in stay with her. Without the live-in to help out during the day you wouldn't be able to manage.
Good luck.
It is not normal behavior, but it does happen sometimes with the elderly. I have seen it and heard of it from others. It must be difficult for your grandma's aide, and I hope she understands that this is sometimes what happens. Your grandma left her home, I presume, and at an advanced age, and this is sometimes traumatic, and causes the person to feel insecure, disoriented, and paranoid among other things. I would suggest you get in touch with a wonderful organization called Family Caregiver Alliance. They will answer your questions and offer suggestions on how to make your grandma feel more secure.
Make sure your grandma knows that she is loved and that you care about her wellbeing. Bless you for caring so much.
this behaviour is not uncommon.there could be several reasons for it
*granny puts things in a "safe" place and forgets where that is .she does not need to have alzheimers to forget things.
*attention seeking
*having bit by bit lost control over her life for years ,she is exercising what little control she can.
*the aide ,to granny, may represent loss of her own independence.
*granny might feel there is a personality clash ,or she simply may not like the aide.
most likely it's the first and third reasons .
helpful hints would be to give her choices ,eg , what to wear ,eat, daily activities etc.....let her know she's being heard and taken notice of when she speaks ,validate her feelings.
i'm sure the aide understands ,and also does her best .great to see family take care of the elderly, it's not easy ,so don't forget to take care of your selves as well. good luck.
My mother did this. She lived in assisted living so we never figured out whether she's misplaced stuff, thrown it out, given it away, or if it had been stolen. She was always very generous, so her giving things away would have been in character for her.
However, with dementia comes not only forgetfulness, but also personality changes, so we never did figure out where things disappeared to. If the companion you have hired is experienced, she will understand that dementia often makes people paranoid, and unless the rest of the family is accusing her, she should be comfortable staying.
Yes unfortunately it is. When they cant find something, well, they think someone else took it. And since the aide is the only one there she gets the blame.
Talk with the aide and tell her that you will always know better -- that Grandma is gonna get harder to care for and this is one manifestation of her illness. Reassure the aide that you know she would not ever steal from this old lady or you. The aide should be trianed in taking care of Alzheimers patients - and should recognize this as a symptom of the disease already. Your reassurance should help you to keep her working for you.
You might try respite care in your area. This is a wonderful program that provides for the elderly when the caretakers need a break - it can be a daily activity or once a week or month. This allows you some time to live a normal life as well. They also help set you up with more aides - so Grandma can stay in the home and you can go on vacation or have a few days to yourself. These aides know the job is short term - they work for the program so they go from home to home.
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Please help me with my granny! She is 95 and we took her in, since we believe we can provide her with anything?