PLEASE RESPOND!!! help seriously!!!!!?

Published by: webmaster 2009-01-07

Im 12 and wondering if this poem is ok???
plus if we win the highest grade we will put it in this magazine
please rate it from 0-10
(making 0 terribly incomplete and 10 perfect)
and tell me what i've got to work on!!! thanks
~Cinthia~
My Grandparent's Special Gifts

Paint me a picture Yayo,
one that will last forever
Fine yellow streaks of sunlight,
with clouds that are fluffy and white.
Guide my hand and help me through
The painting process as you do.
For this moment I cherish in my heart
Your precious gift from God for art

Bake me a cake Yaya
One with senses that can't be replaced
With a vanilla aroma surrounding us,
And creamy milk that shines with lust

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Direct me while stirring the bowl,
To cleaning the kitchen high and low
for this I will surely treasure
Your precious talents of homemade pleasures

Tell me a story Abuelo,
one that can be passed on for generations

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telling theses sentences and phrases,
leaves me thinking and amazes.
Teaching me choices good and bad
Looking up to you because you're never mad,
For this is gift is awarded first place,
Your precious gift of being friendly with grace.

Sew me a dress Abuela,
one with linens that I won't forget
work the machine and watch your foot tap
while I'm sitting upon your lap.
Steer me while crocheting dazzling loops,
� �� ?????????????
Each stitch with kindness and love,
Your precious talents of hand-work from above

I'm twelve and we are suppose to write a story abut our gramps in Lanuages Arts and there is only some lines im working on
i just wanted to know how its is so far plaese give your opinion and rate it from 0-10 (makin 0 the worst n 10 perfect)

9 out of 10, Great job. You sound like a child prodigy.

I like it but you might wanna use "grandma" and "grandpa" because not everyone knows what yayo, yaya, abuelo and abuela mean... also your title, it should be
"My Grandparents' Special Gifts"

I think that poem is amazing I am 26 and I am just getting the hang of it 10. wow keep writing. Good luck