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I want to say I can live without you but now Im dying just to be with you. 0180. I make Him see that loving you at my best is enough to say were meant to
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What to say to him? I just wanna scream!?
Alright this is really hard to come clean with, it's hard even on the internet to people I've never met and probably never will.
First off I have a daughter who is under a year old and her father and I just amicably split about a month ago, well I've missed him a lot since we left, but Im okay, I was looking at something online and I saw that he had been commenting on some girl and of course, it hurt my feelings a lot, since I feel like I'm alone here.
Well, to top it off, I found out I was pregnant again. Now I KNOW this sounds horrible and I know a lot of people are going to say abort, you're a bad person and so on, I understand why people would think that. I told him yesterday and he got angry at me and said some mean things, but then calmed down said he was sorry and we talked, but never came up with a plan
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Just last night he was joking around with everyone before he went to bed. Hey have you talked to eddy since july.if so tell him i wanna talk to him about somthing
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We were engaged to be married this summer, but he called it off and I told him I will wait until he's ready, but I guess he never got ready and wanted me to leave. Im sorry this is so all over the place. Anyways, now I don't know what to say to him. Last night when I told him I jsut wanted to scream what kind of father are you? why don't you want to have your family with you???? He didn't even mention being with us, he just said im sorry for getting mad at you and then we went off about other things...I just wish I knew what to say, Im upset because I've seen he's been talking to these girls, and Im upset since I'm pregnant and I have my daughter. I would talk to someone I know personally, but I don't know anyone who I know that would understand. He's always been sucha good guy and then boom it's like he's not the same person, and of course I suspected cheating, but I don't know....also i can't stop anyone from their opinions, but i would appreciate it if you wouldn't leave a mean answer, an honest one, but not mean, and i know this probably shouldn't be posted in this section but i sometimes post here and i got no responses anywhere else
Additional Details
No, we were together 5 years prior to my daughters birth
First of all, you aren't a bad person for getting pregnant again and I'd never say abort. Maybe it was an unwise decision if you guys were in splitsville but a child is precious no matter the circumstances.
Secondly, you don't want him to be with you if he doesn't want to be- and that's what it sounds like. Even having children together isn't a reason to be married or be any sort of a couple. My parents stayed married until we were in high school because of "the kids" but everyone would have been better off if they had split sooner.
Being apart doesn't mean you guys can't be great parents. Work on the parenting part, and figure out a plan for that, and deal with the rest later. And don't wait around for some guy that isn't going to treat you right. He called off the wedding and now he's talking to other girls- that's not the kind of guy you wait around for. You'll find someone better and more deserving. Good luck.
Wow im so sorry how much you're hurting. I know right now all you want is to have him come back home and you guys can be a happy family. But from what your wrote he has oher plans. Number one thing DON'T show him how hurt you are or how much you want him back. For some odd reason if you do that you'll just look sad and needy to him so he'll be turned off. For now you need to think of your daughter and your unborn child. Start planning your lifes together. Don't count on him. Since he's already connecting with other girls, I wouldn't trust him right now. Just do what you have to do to make your lives worth living. You are blessed with a lil girl and one on the way. That is reason enough to wake up happy every morning. I wish you had a close friend that you can confide in that will also help you through these rough times. Best of luck to you
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I dont know, I just think its wierd to see him in such a big venue. if u wanna instant message me my sn is JLolatinax19. sara, Nov 7, 2003 11:06PM
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Say Kay-lee! - Printable::
That I used to say to him before wed wave goodbye I wanna be different- just like everybody else. I wanna go to places man has never been
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its ok its not your fault its his fault for acting like a jerk
i hate it when guys they act so nice to you then later they start changing
Good luck and its your choice if you want to abort you child or not its nobody elses you should make the choice.
I wish you luck!!!
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I wanna stay this way forever, Ill say it loud. Now youre in, and you i love love love this song she just loves this guy and she wants to kiss him and
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I think you need to figure out what you want. If you want to be with him you need to let him know how you feel. If you cannot tell him exactly how you feel, or think you will just yell at eachother, that write him a note. I think communication is the best thing in a relationship and both of you need to get everything out on the table, for the sake of your daughter and your unborn baby, not to metion your happiness.
Good luck!
I am not to sure what you want us to tell you but I am terribly sorry you are going through a hard time right now. Sadly we are all put through trials in our lives.
As for your situation ... the way it sounds is you are split up? I think you both need to sit down for the sake of your 1 child and soon to be other and figure where you both stand. Now this may be hard, you may hear things you dont want to hear and vise versa but it needs to be done.
Second it doesnt sound like he wants to be with you thats why you need to sit down and talk but if he doesnt or if he flips flop thats not good for you or the 2 kids. That will confuse them and in the end will hurt everyone. Kids do better from parents not together then from them fighting together.
If he doesnt want to be in your life you need to make sure he will be in the childrens lives. If not go to court and take care of things there.
Hang in there you will make it through it will be hard trust me, I divorce at 23 ... sad huh? And it was so hard to let that part of my life go but this is 7 years later and I am so happy now and glad I got rid of that guy :) So right now things seem bleak but their not trust me people around you love you and support you and you dont deserve a man that cant make a commitment to you
it sounds like he's not ready to grow up and you can't make him. you have to find a way to make your life right and happy without him and maybe he'll come around before it is too late. or maybe he won't prepare for both possibilities
You don't mention your age or his but I suspect you are young?
Were you together long before you had your 1st daughter?
A lot of times when people are young, they think they have deep feelings for someone but it turns out to be more lust or even just affection or caring but not love. And they meet someone else who attracts them and they start to feel like they are missing something or that that other person is better for them. This is what dating is all about.
However when a child is conceived and brought into the world, then the whole relationship changes. It isn't about what you want, it is about a commitment to a life and to a never ending relationship with that child.
So what are your options? Well, you can't force him to be with you and as hard as it is, he has at least told you up front how he feels. You both do have obligation to the babies you have. The plan you need to come up with will need to include financial support for both kids and a plan for his involvement.
Other than that, I am not sure what you are asking. It is a rotten situation for everyone involved.
I def feel for you. From what I read it seems like being a "father" may have scared him. (dont know his age but def could play a part) I am a litlle frustrated when women think that they need a man to be a family. From personal experience I would rather live in a happy home with just my mother then, with a man who doesnt want to be there to father me. I think if you want to keep the baby (and thats your choice and only yours!) that maybe just put your energy into your kids for now. No one wants to feel unwanted and your kids dont need to see that. I would focus on other things positive things in your life. Maybe a little space will give him an eye opener and he may realize he wants to be with you. But dont waste your life chasing someone who is always chasing someone else. You deserve better! And dont be worried about being single and having two kids you will meet the man of your dreams just dont force it!!! Good luck with everything!!
Well...it sounds like you have a real problem here. Not knowing you personally, and not knowing him, it is hard to properly answer your question...but I will give you MY opinion.
From what you describe, it does sound as if your bf may have been cheating...or at least wanting to. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to stop him from cheating--or to make him love you if he doesn't. I would definitely not pressure him into being with you again. If he wants to be with you, he will let you know. I know it has only been a month, and that is not a very long time to get over losing someone you care about. Try to take this time to be on your own and figure out how you are going to manage without him. Maybe you will find someone else who loves you and embraces your children.
I do hope for your and your children's sake, that he is a decent man and will care for his children.
I don't think you should abort. And just because of your circumstances, that doesn't make you a bad person either. To me it sounds like he isn't in it with you. I honestly don't have any great advice, I haven't ever been in the situation, so I don't wanna tell you to do something I don't really know about. I think you should get some support, if you can't really go to your friends and family or if you aren't close to them I would say go to a church. People are almost always willing to help you at churches. They can help council you and help you make a decision on what to do as well as give you support if you need it. If you aren't comfortable with that you might look into a crisis pregnancy center around where you live they can do the same thing, and council you. They would have better advice for you then I would, so you might try that. The only thing I can tell you is that you are worth more then how it seems he is treating you. He doesn't seem very supportive if he is willing to get you pregnant and then ditch you and both your babies. Hope this helps, good luck!
Don't be surprised if you do get mean answers but that is the reality of the Newborn & Baby section.
I had a friend who had been with her boyfriend, they had a house, they had stable jobs, he made great money, he was a good guy. She and he got engaged and then she got pregnant. Things continued to be great, they had a baby. Then out of no where 5 or so months after the baby he changed! He suddenly became distant, he didn't care about keeping his family together, he had generally become a whole other person. My friend suspected cheating. They argued nonstop. He called off the engagment and moved out on a moments notice. Leaving her and baby swirling in debt because she had become a stay at home mom. On myspace she found all these comments between him and several women. Then more disturbingly drug comments. Then she put two and two together, she peiced together that he had a drug addiction from myspace, gossip and bank withdrawls. She ended up being 12 weeks pregnant and she confronted the guy, he admitted to being on drugs but he said it wasn't a big deal. She told him about the baby and she was thinking about abortion he leeped into a lecture about life and God. She ended up aborting and going after him for max child support. He ended up hiding from the CS enforcment for 3 years before being arrested for evasion.
You don't have to be this guys doormat. You and him may have had a wonderful fulfilling relationship in the past but things have changed. You must adapt to the situation. It may hurt, it is of course hard to get over the relationship you had but your a mom. Your children both born and unborn don't need to be subjected to his unstable ways. A man who puts his family aside for a care free life style is no man at all, your children need you to walk away. For their mental health walk away.
Your already a single mother, your strong enough!
My heart goes out to you. It is your choice to abort or birth. But whatever you pick, make sure you whole heart accepts in. No second thoughts. It is a tough choice.
Good luck.
okay, you were very all over the place so i'm going to answer this the best i can.
first of all, you should not abort, and i wouldnt tell you that. i'd hope people wouldnt; although if that were your decision i would not judge you. this man sounds like he's got his priorities out of line. you were together 5 years before you had your daughter, and you said your daughter is less than a year old. was he like this at all before her birth? becoming a father may have changed him in a negative way. he may be tired of being a father and want to be single and free again, after having the responsibility of parenthood. many people go through that. sometimes it's a phase, and other times they turn out to be a deadbeat parent.
wanting to scream is nothing to be ashamed of. you are going through a lot. your horomones are whacky, you just found out your man is talking to other women, and you are separated. it is OKAY to feel the way you are feeling. before you speak with him, you need to get yourself into a calm state of mind before you do. otherwise it could blow up into an argument.
this is something i've done since i was a kid going to talk to my parents, and i still do it to this day when i have something serious to talk to my husband about. write your feelings down and what you'd like to say, and when you speak to them, go about them one at a time. that way you can make sure you word everything without sounding bitchy, and you can go over it a few times without forgetting what you have to say. if it sounds embarrassing, do it over the phone. you don't have to tell him you prepared for the conversation like that.
best of luck, and don't let anyone make you feel like you must do something you're comfortable doing. email me if you need someone to talk to.
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