CCM - County College of Morris::
Do not ask for information you could get through pre-interview research. Inappropriate, too, are questions about salary; there will be ample time to discuss
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3 girlfriends cheated on me, 2 of them hit me when they got angry, and one turned into a druggie.
Then, I battled cancer for several years, and also took care of my mom and my brother when they had health problems.
Looking at me, you would never guess that I had been through all that. I am now 100% healthy, and I show no physical scars or emotional distress from what I went through. I took some time to work through the trauma, and I am very well-adjusted.
So, what is it with some women who think that I am some sort of weirdo because I've never married? Seems to me that they should be proud of how strong I am. Furthermore, they should think a man is attractive, when he has his act together and his issues worked out.
I guess they think that being 40 and divorced 4 times makes them better than me.
Job Hunting Tips: Accepting Judgment - Careers-Employment::
Inappropriate: What's your marital status? Do you have children?OK: Would you be able and willing In fact, some people make a full time living doing it.
http://taxila.in/learn/8822.phpHOME |
Compiled by the Career Development & Counseling Center::
Some people with average abilities can change jobs easily because they .. or questions do you have about my qualifications or ability to do the job?”
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People will always be entitled to their opinions, especially when you step outside of a societal norm. the fact that you are still unmarried at your age, to them, either means you are afraid of commitment or gay. According to details magazine, you are becoming more and more "normal." Your last sentiment mirrors the article in which they say that men are becoming disenfranchised with the concept of marriage as they see their friends marry and divorce repeatedly. You are a product of the fact that married people no longer understand what it is to take a vow and that marriage is a sacred, binding contract. It is a result of an increasingly secular society. Don't ask so laowai don't have to tell::
Should not ask people about their ‘love lives’ or marital status; . When I'm living in China, I do get tired of answering the same questions over and
http://www.danwei.org/2008_beijing_olympic_games/dont_ask_so_laowai_dont_have_t.phpHOME |
How to Interact with Foreigners, and other Olympics Propaganda ::
Jul 18, 2008 Chinese people, among themselves, do ask a lot of questions about find a person who was insulted if I questioned their marital status,
http://www.peacefulrise.org/2008/07/18/interact-with-foreigners-olympics-propaganda/HOME |
People will ask questions because they're curious about a situation that seems unusual to them.
I wouldn't mention to them that you had three former girlfriends that cheated on you though. It is a HUGE RED FLAG that you are either unwilling or unable to satisfy a woman sexually.
Well good that you are healthy now and all the best that you have a long happy life.. NO, not all women are like that.. Keep an open mind about this... there are also some women out there who will understand your situation fully.. I am sure.. and to be divorced 4 times.. (an ex pal of mine actually is divorced 4 times) and he blames it all on the women.. as he was in the navy... they cheated on him.. all of them) You should when you date sound as if you were over the hurt of your past relationship;... don't accuse the women who cheated on you and also not the druggie.. Just if you date..say.. ''I had some relationships in the past with women.. the relationships unfortunately didn't work out..therefore I remained single..'' That to me sounds better and will sound better to the women you meet.. because it sounds positive.. it shows them you are not accusing anyone for the fact that 3 relationships failed because you were being cheated on.. just say ..''they didn't work out..'' that happens to a lot of people and then the women you meet will react a lot more positively... even if they did.. I also told my ex pal not to say he was divorced 4 times because his wives cheated on him.. he should just tell them.. he is divorced and if he gets to know the women or woman better he is dating he should let her know he was married 4 times but he should leave out the accusations.. so he did follow that one advice I gave him and now he is in a relationship and has been for 2 years with a woman who has been divorced 3 times...and they seem to have hit it off. Careers, Job Vacancies and Employment Information - Careers-Employment::
Nov 10, 2008 Here's a list of some questions -- the wrong way, and the right way, Inappropriate: What's your marital status? Do you have children?
http://careersone.com.au/info/index.phpHOME |
Patents Pending::
File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat - View as HTMLBe ready to handle illegal and inappropriate questions. Interview questions about your race,. age, gender, religion, marital status, and sexual orientation
http://www2.creighton.edu/careercenter/interviewingtips/fileadmin/user/CareerCenter/docs/20_Tips_for_Great_Job_Interviews.pdfHOME |
No but women do think 40 and never married means you've got some serious issues ....................and you did.
Get over yourself. It sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. How do you know that women think that about you? Are they actually TELLING you this? If they are, then they aren't the kind of woman that you would want to be around anyway so who cares what they think!
If they havent' actually TOLD you this, then stop assuming.
Understand that it's not the "norm" for a man to be 40 and unmarried so it is natural for a woman to be curious as to why a man would still be single.
If someone asks you why, you can simply say that you are still hopeful that the right woman is out there for you. That's it. You don't own anyone an explanation. If a woman is interested, once you get to know her you can fill her in on the details. But there is no need to disclose that much information up front.
You're 100% right. If they dont respect you after hearing your story then they have the problem, not you. You could try telling them that you wanted to get married earlier but you couldn't find the right person and you already had a lot going on in your life.
Wow! Are you a survivor! Congratulations on coming through all that without anger issues! People are just too darn nosy. Just because they ask a question, it doesn't mean they are entitled to an answer. Chalk it up to the loss of civility in our society. If they don't know better than to ask inappropriate questions, don't expect them to acknowledge your perseverance. It's just beyond them. Hope you find someone to share your life; someone worthy.
Sounds like you're around the wrong kind of women. You've been through hell and survived it, so I guess that means there's only Heaven left, right? Keep your chin up. I know several people who were in their mid to late 40s before they married the first time, and they're the happiest they've ever been.
I think some of these answers are just down right stupid and insensitive.
people are forgetting or just completely ignoring what you are trying to convey in the first place...
you are being judged when they don't know anything about you in the first place, or they don't know what you have gone through.. which is quite a bit.. and for them to assume this is BS.
Next time, tell them..."you only know what I let you know" and not to assume things. that simple.
We live in a judgmental world and you have to put some kind of control over this by the way you respond to people like that.
you know your strong, and that is all that matters.. bottom line. No one else will go through your pain and successes for you.. only you, and that is what matters, how you feel.
Simply ignore the ignorant.
Smart man, never getting married. Smiles... Keep up the good work on the self esteem and health issue. God bless. The woman you are speaking of are obviously lacking a considerable amount of self esteem and have spent their lives trying to find it in another individual.
The fact of the matter is, when people don't know you, they make assumptions about you based on your appearance, etc. They don't know that the reason you aren't married is because you've had cancer and have also taken care of family members when they've been sick as well. They don't know anything about you! And frankly, if a man hasn't been married by 40, unless they share explicity the reasons why they haven't been married, women will think there is some kind of commitment issue, etc.
While it is hard to understand why people (aka women) make assumptions about you, the only way they are going to know who you are is by you sharing and being open. And the only way that is going to happen is if you are open and don't get offended when they ask you questions about not being married. Only then will they know that you are a good man who chose to do the right thing and help his family, etc. when they were sick rather than being selfish and only thinking of himself.
Women learn more about a person from what theyve done who they dated. If youre 40 and never married, theyre going to wonder why. It indicates to many of them that youre not ready for that sort of relationship, or that something in general is wrong with you.
Because some people are just down right rude.
Not knowing what you've been through, they can't know from the start why you haven't been married! You don't say how old you are, but I'm guessing it's 40 from the comment at the end. Usually, a 40 year old man who has never been married is: gay, a complete mama's boy, an ex-con who just got done doing hard time or a player. I say usually, because, occasionally, you do run across someone like yourself, who has very good reasons for not having been married before that time, but considering they don't know you or your history, they can't know any of this without asking you. Not saying it's everyone's business or that they even have the right to ask, but if you're going to be upset about it then you're just going to spend a lot of time being pissed, because based on the normal lay of things, it's an assumption many people are going to make.
BTW, the people who don't ask you about it, have just assumed one of the things I mentioned are true and didn't bother trying to find out the real story.
Bottom line is that people like to compare themselves to others, so if you are different than they are, you get looked down upon. It's human nature.
Good for you that you feel good about yourself and have strengthened because of what you have gone through. Just because it's the "norm" to get married, get the house, have the kids, etc., etc. doesn't mean there is something wrong with your choices. People like that aren't worth your time.
Maybe your hanging out with a few too many skanks, Hang in there and you"ll find someone who gets you.
You don't mention who the people are that are asking you these questions. People at work - unprofessional and in most states illegal.
Friends or family - tacky and rude
To get to the why part of your question, many people are very nosy and don't mind the lack of class it takes to ask such a personal question.
I think you're being a little hard on women in general. Do you not know what it means when a woman asks you if you're married yet? What if they were attracted to the strong man you claim to be. Are you really that sensitive?
You're ragingly judgmental assuming that at 40 all women have been married 4 times. No wonder you're not married, you're bitter!
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